I wasn't going to update today but I've been bent over an abstract for the annual meeting of the Society for Text & Discourse for the past four hours and need to do something else for a couple of minutes. I recently decided that the way I had originally framed my research question was leading me into a dead and boring end. But after a long evening of combing the PsycINFO database, I discovered a whole other literature that has let me reframe my research into something that I actually want to write about. So now I'm taking all the work that I've done and am attempting to repackage it, both for publication and for the T&D conference this August. This is tough for me because I don't really know the literature that I'm now trying to fit my work into so I'm doubly insecure about every sentence I'm writing. So I write half a sentence, worry that I've gotten something wrong, quickly flip to the 20-something research articles I've got open on my computer, re-read parts of articles to make sure I know what I'm talking about, realize "no, I don't know what I'm talking about" and then flip back to the half-sentence... and erase it and rewrite it. And then start worrying if I've gotten it wrong again. Rinse, repeat. Over and over. And over. And over.
So I need a bit of a break from that. And I figured since I swatched two more Rebel Deb polishes over the weekend, it would be a good opportunity to post them.
Color Club Gossip Column
Dark, saturated cerulean creme. Really gorgeous striking color, even though it Smurfinated my fingertips when I took it off. Either way, it went on very easily in two coats and was perfectly glossy even before topcoat. I feel like I have really similar colors to this one but without a direct comparison, it's hard for me to determine if I have something that's very dupe-y. All things considered, Color Club is a very affordable brand and all my potential dupes that I'm thinking of are probably all more expensive than Gossip Column.
This almost doesn't fit into the rest of the collection of the same name... which makes sense (it is a Rebel, after all). I am actually not sure I like this color that much. It's a bright spring green creme that almost could be a neon (and actually dries matte-ish like a neon). It's a very pigmented formula which makes it full coverage in two coats but in this case, also makes it hard to apply thin even coats; it's almost a bit gloopy.
I think I have three more polishes from this collection to go... hopefully, it'll be done before March but no guarantees because this weekend is Visiting Weekend for the new prospective graduate students (including for my SO). I'll be housing two of them and that generally involves getting rid of all evidence of nail polish obsession. My SO takes the stance that, "It's your hobby and if they judge you negatively for it, screw them" -- and I largely agree with him. But whereas his intelligence won't be questioned if people knew he can play video games from dawn to dusk, I know my intelligence will be questioned if I was so obvious in my interest in makeup. If I was feeling more competent in my studies and research lately, I wouldn't hesitate to talk about cosmetics... but I'm not. I have no sense of internally-determined security about my competency lately; I'm not going to jeopardize externally-determined security right now. I miss feeling competent: it really does affect the way I live my life.
...and now I will return to my regularly scheduled programming of being super insecure about every single sentence I write.
